Thursday, January 7, 2010

Contemplation

Once again, its been quite a while since my last blog. Things have been very hectic but I promise I will start commenting on everyone's blogs again soon and will try to make more regular blogs.

Since the last time I blogged, much has happened. I have been spending more time with Christopher. He is so sweet - having flowers delivered to my apartment and taking me on really cute dates - like ice skating and an indoor picnic. Yet, I don't know quite how I feel about him yet.

Things have been up and down with Derek. I went on vacation to visit my family for a couple weeks around Christmas. Right before then, things were going pretty well. Then, he was super sweet while I was gone. He called often and we had long conversations. He invited me to spend Christmas with him and his family but I didn't go. He brought souvenirs back for me and kept checking in, saying he missed me and was anxious for when I came back.

Then, I returned in time for New Years and we spent the night together with some of his circle of friends. It was fun and we had a great time. Then I didn't see him for the whole weekend after.

He wanted to see me that Sunday but I was going out of town for work. I stopped by his apartment briefly before leaving and we hung out for just a few minutes - it was relaxed and nice and made me miss all the days we spent just doing nothing. I miss lounging on the couch watching TV and sports and movies.

We haven't seen each other all week and he has made basically no effort. Tonight he asked if I'd come out with him and some friends to watch the college championship football game and I said sure, I'd love to come. He said he'd call on his way home from work and we'd make definitive plans and I haven't heard from him yet.

I have a lot of other things going on in my life right now and some of them aren't good but I'll write about those later. He should be around for this. He should be here but he doesn't even know what's going on because he hasn't taken the time to ask. This really bothers me and I keep thinking that if he doesn't follow through on these plans tonight that it really is the last straw. He never stands me up when we make plans. On occassion he's postponed them for no good reason at all but he has never stood me up. At thirty minutes to gametime, he should have called by now. And if he doesn't, I think it might be too much. But taking a stand is so much easier said than done. Walking away is easier said than done. But I don't know how much more of this I can take.

3 comments:

  1. I feel for your predicament, best of luck figuring things out.

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  2. Hi
    I will try not to sound too personal but when I see these kind of behaviors in another guy and is affecting a woman makes my blood boil I just hope you don't get mad at me for my comments.

    I see you still struggling, long time ago I used to have a friend that struggle with the same problem you have, and even when I told her that this guy was just using her as a show only. I will try to explain that to you, what I mean is, he is just using you to either to show his group of friends that he can have a pretty girl but in reality he is not interested in a commitment however, he will act nice to you every single time. You are next to him or any of your closest friends that know him as well.
    To make the story short, my friend spent most of her time waiting for this guy to call her or to pick her up, and she put on hold her own life, friendship's and everything else. just for these ass of a man.
    I am not Dr.Phill or anything like that, but I will tell you, very honestly make a list of the things you like about Christopher at least 10 of them, and make a list of the 10 things you like about Derek.
    Then try to find at least 20 of the things that you dislike about one and the other. And then you can compare. Personally I think you're very attractive and intelligent woman, and you will choose wisely. So, the only thing left to say will be that no matter what, Don't ever let a guy do that to you specially if he don't have at least the decency of calling you and letting you know what's going on.
    I wish you the best and good luck either with one or the other, and blessings to you sincerely yours Armando.

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  3. Hi friend,

    On reading your experience, i could see that you are some one who needs a comforting heart, really that could keep you warm, and indeed that's true love. I think all you gotta do is just "Speak out". Talk to Derek. Take some time alone with him, cause no one on earth knows what he feels in him, he might have felt the same as you had! Problem in love is that we never speak out, instead we wait for the other to do. When time passes on things go out of hands. So just speak out, share all your thoughts about him, and the love and dilemma you have in you the time being. Im sure he would come out with his real thought in him. You would for sure get a solution, can end in either way. Make sure when you speak, look deep into his eyes, the rest your heart would say! Take care ma friend.

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